Who are you?

I have realized lately that although I am overjoyed with who I have become, I still maintain a level of wishy washy qualities.

I used to be incredibly good at making a decision and sticking to it. Lately, I make statements of decision, well aware that I won't follow through. It's nothing incredibly important. Things like, I won't drink pop or I will eat healthy or I will work out all the time. I have absolutely no reason not to follow through. All positive things. If anything, the caffeine addiction I acquired in college is back in full force- along with the crappy eating habits and the laziness. However, at one point in life, I was soda free, alcohol free and hadn't been to a fast food place in months! So what's changed now?

I suppose part of it is just my mental state. I know that if I were to convince myself continually that all this is a good idea, I could do it. I'm stuck between the 'quality of life' reasons and the 'you only live once' reasons. I used to have legitimate health reasons that put me in place and therefore NONE of any of that was an option. Having since improved times ten (knock on wood) means that I get by sneaking around with Mountain Dew and Taco Hell.

I blame my boobs. Yes, my boobs. Once they got huge, I stopped running. If I wanted to run I would need lots of duct tape on those bad boys. Once I stopped running, the only real consequence I faced was losing my abs ( damn, I miss you.) My metabolism didn't fail me until two years into college. At which point I loved wearing shirts to parties to show off my boobs so I could get free drinks (and a really huge gut.) My boobs got me the boyfriends who, by no fault of their own, took me out to eat. Shame on you, boobs. Shame. On. You. However, all boob blame was lifted for about a year when I got really, really sick. They had nothing to do with that. The sickness halted all my irrational behavior. My condition was worsened by caffeine, alcohol, fast food grease, and probably anything I had done in the past. Working out was difficult because I was often tired and in pain. Yet, gaining weight was not an issue since I could barely eat anything.

That brings us to today. Despite certain medical hurdles, I'm no longer restricted in what I eat or drink. So, I take FULL advantage of it. It needs to stop. I'm going to be heifer if I don't! Walking dogs does not cancel out the amount of crap I encounter in a day. So, in an effort to avoid 'being a disgusting fat ass' as a part of this quarter crisis- My official "Get Your Shit Together Day" is Monday, August 30th.

This consist of: No more soda. Fast food maximum intake is twice a month. Working out at least 3 times a week.

Here's hoping! Right?