I have now come to realize that it doesn't matter how old or how young, all boys are pretty much stupid.
Today was full of ridiculous boy behavior. First, I got a call from a boy I haven't heard from in months. An abrupt departure, even more abrupt re-entry. I'm still not sure how to process it. Of course, over the past months I spent a good amount of time texting him angrily. I'm not sure if it was worse that he neglected me, or if I was worse with my messages. Hopefully, this will be a permanent re-entry. I don't take lightly to being shut out completely and left in the dark. Regardless, I'm still confused.
I was on my computer when I get an email from this crazy ass fucker. The back story is that I met him online. He seemed pretty cool, but I wasn't sure. He called me ALL the time, and would text me constantly. It was nice attention at first, but a little much. I agreed to go out with him. We hung out one time and he was continually posting sappy things on my FB and then deleting them. Eventually, I thought he'd cool out. Nope. He would freak out if I didn't answer his text messages, call me names, try to make me feel bad for him, and kept up all these things. My last straw was that he deleted and re-added me on FB, and then asked me for my # because he had deleted it. I told him No. He agreed to leave me alone. I was blocked. Whatever! Then he UNBLOCKED me, and THEN, he emails me saying "Hey you're so fine let me have your number please." WHAT THE FUCK?! Not only was I creeped out when you thought we were soulmates, but now you have decided that after I told you to fuck off, you're going to try again!? Oh hell no. *insert triangle snap here.*
The little bit of sane boy in my life, isn't even a fixture. And as discussed drunkenly last night at an engagement celebration, I really don't know how to charm or impress a boy in real life with any of my social skills. Any time I improve this, I generally ruin it. This happens many ways: drunk dialing, drunk texting, awkward conversation, uncomfortable panic attacks in which I forfeit my normalcy and personality for coming off as 'shy' or 'quiet' because of all the preceding. It's just one big FAIL. Oh, man.
Arranged marriages seem far more appealing when you deal with fuckin freaks. This doesn't even cover the 21 year old jealous baby, the mailbox stalker, or jersey shore guy. I'm not the classiest bitch, but I'm not going to be settling for scary people at any point in time.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Who are you?
I have realized lately that although I am overjoyed with who I have become, I still maintain a level of wishy washy qualities.
I used to be incredibly good at making a decision and sticking to it. Lately, I make statements of decision, well aware that I won't follow through. It's nothing incredibly important. Things like, I won't drink pop or I will eat healthy or I will work out all the time. I have absolutely no reason not to follow through. All positive things. If anything, the caffeine addiction I acquired in college is back in full force- along with the crappy eating habits and the laziness. However, at one point in life, I was soda free, alcohol free and hadn't been to a fast food place in months! So what's changed now?
I suppose part of it is just my mental state. I know that if I were to convince myself continually that all this is a good idea, I could do it. I'm stuck between the 'quality of life' reasons and the 'you only live once' reasons. I used to have legitimate health reasons that put me in place and therefore NONE of any of that was an option. Having since improved times ten (knock on wood) means that I get by sneaking around with Mountain Dew and Taco Hell.
I blame my boobs. Yes, my boobs. Once they got huge, I stopped running. If I wanted to run I would need lots of duct tape on those bad boys. Once I stopped running, the only real consequence I faced was losing my abs ( damn, I miss you.) My metabolism didn't fail me until two years into college. At which point I loved wearing shirts to parties to show off my boobs so I could get free drinks (and a really huge gut.) My boobs got me the boyfriends who, by no fault of their own, took me out to eat. Shame on you, boobs. Shame. On. You. However, all boob blame was lifted for about a year when I got really, really sick. They had nothing to do with that. The sickness halted all my irrational behavior. My condition was worsened by caffeine, alcohol, fast food grease, and probably anything I had done in the past. Working out was difficult because I was often tired and in pain. Yet, gaining weight was not an issue since I could barely eat anything.
That brings us to today. Despite certain medical hurdles, I'm no longer restricted in what I eat or drink. So, I take FULL advantage of it. It needs to stop. I'm going to be heifer if I don't! Walking dogs does not cancel out the amount of crap I encounter in a day. So, in an effort to avoid 'being a disgusting fat ass' as a part of this quarter crisis- My official "Get Your Shit Together Day" is Monday, August 30th.
This consist of: No more soda. Fast food maximum intake is twice a month. Working out at least 3 times a week.
Here's hoping! Right?
I used to be incredibly good at making a decision and sticking to it. Lately, I make statements of decision, well aware that I won't follow through. It's nothing incredibly important. Things like, I won't drink pop or I will eat healthy or I will work out all the time. I have absolutely no reason not to follow through. All positive things. If anything, the caffeine addiction I acquired in college is back in full force- along with the crappy eating habits and the laziness. However, at one point in life, I was soda free, alcohol free and hadn't been to a fast food place in months! So what's changed now?
I suppose part of it is just my mental state. I know that if I were to convince myself continually that all this is a good idea, I could do it. I'm stuck between the 'quality of life' reasons and the 'you only live once' reasons. I used to have legitimate health reasons that put me in place and therefore NONE of any of that was an option. Having since improved times ten (knock on wood) means that I get by sneaking around with Mountain Dew and Taco Hell.
I blame my boobs. Yes, my boobs. Once they got huge, I stopped running. If I wanted to run I would need lots of duct tape on those bad boys. Once I stopped running, the only real consequence I faced was losing my abs ( damn, I miss you.) My metabolism didn't fail me until two years into college. At which point I loved wearing shirts to parties to show off my boobs so I could get free drinks (and a really huge gut.) My boobs got me the boyfriends who, by no fault of their own, took me out to eat. Shame on you, boobs. Shame. On. You. However, all boob blame was lifted for about a year when I got really, really sick. They had nothing to do with that. The sickness halted all my irrational behavior. My condition was worsened by caffeine, alcohol, fast food grease, and probably anything I had done in the past. Working out was difficult because I was often tired and in pain. Yet, gaining weight was not an issue since I could barely eat anything.
That brings us to today. Despite certain medical hurdles, I'm no longer restricted in what I eat or drink. So, I take FULL advantage of it. It needs to stop. I'm going to be heifer if I don't! Walking dogs does not cancel out the amount of crap I encounter in a day. So, in an effort to avoid 'being a disgusting fat ass' as a part of this quarter crisis- My official "Get Your Shit Together Day" is Monday, August 30th.
This consist of: No more soda. Fast food maximum intake is twice a month. Working out at least 3 times a week.
Here's hoping! Right?
Monday, August 2, 2010
No More Niemi?!
I'm so over this Hawks roster change. Ridiculous!!!
After the Hawks Convention this weekend, I just fell more in love. Which made it ten times more sad to lose Niemi. Regardless, I met Jonathan Toews- which was incredible. In the sense that I totally didn't say anything and lost my shit. And he definitely laughed at me. Can't wait til next year... Wonder if he'll recall creepy Mrs. Toews...
But, it was for sure a highlight in this quarter life.
Lately I have been been making a solid attempt to get all my life pieces together. I had an interview at a temp agency today. Awkward. I'm so out of practice and my interview voice gave me a headache. Trying to form these chapters is frustrating. Especially when your past pops up out of nowhere. Jockstrap texted me- 6 months about now after he told ME to never speak to him again...as if I had done something in the first place. I understand why he did only because I know him so well. Regardless, he made his choices and they were poor- and because of it, I don't want anything to do with him.
This only solidifies my irrational dating laws. Which almost any boy I talk to breaks at least one. It's just so exhausting! I haven't been busting my ass to find anyone, I figure when I'm into someone I'll know. I'm also not going to talk much about it because it would most likely jinx anything.
So, I know I need to clean- I need to sleep- I need to get out of the house! However, I'm so tired right now it would make no sense to go out. So...Clean? If anyone saw my room, they would throw up.
After the Hawks Convention this weekend, I just fell more in love. Which made it ten times more sad to lose Niemi. Regardless, I met Jonathan Toews- which was incredible. In the sense that I totally didn't say anything and lost my shit. And he definitely laughed at me. Can't wait til next year... Wonder if he'll recall creepy Mrs. Toews...
But, it was for sure a highlight in this quarter life.
Lately I have been been making a solid attempt to get all my life pieces together. I had an interview at a temp agency today. Awkward. I'm so out of practice and my interview voice gave me a headache. Trying to form these chapters is frustrating. Especially when your past pops up out of nowhere. Jockstrap texted me- 6 months about now after he told ME to never speak to him again...as if I had done something in the first place. I understand why he did only because I know him so well. Regardless, he made his choices and they were poor- and because of it, I don't want anything to do with him.
This only solidifies my irrational dating laws. Which almost any boy I talk to breaks at least one. It's just so exhausting! I haven't been busting my ass to find anyone, I figure when I'm into someone I'll know. I'm also not going to talk much about it because it would most likely jinx anything.
So, I know I need to clean- I need to sleep- I need to get out of the house! However, I'm so tired right now it would make no sense to go out. So...Clean? If anyone saw my room, they would throw up.
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